Jackie -
is it also possible that your H is sinking back into depression?
My H has been doing that - for the last 3 months now that I look back, although it was so gradual I didn't pick up on it at first - now he's irritable and snapping at the kids. At least he UNDERSTANDS that he's depressed now, and is talking about restarting Prozac, although I don't think he has done so yet. Right now he's gone on a long-planned one week trip with S11, and made a very expensive collect international call to tell me how much he misses me.

Maybe you could approach H in a loving way and tell him you're concerned, he seems stressed, and you'd like to know how you could better meet his needs.

BTW - what was his issue with you going with the girlfriend? Does he dislike her, is he worried about what you're doing, or does he feel like you don't pay enough attention to him? (His comment about "might as well work" when you had nothing planned - do you think he's feeling like you never take the reins of your social life, like he's only valued for his role as provider, like you weren't dying to have him come home and be with you? I know you think you're being loving by being accomodating and deferring to his wishes - I used to do that too. But what my H would have really liked was for me to say "Get your self home, we all want to see you, besides, I've invited your friends over for dinner and we're having a party!")

Is quality time your H's love language? If so - any way you could get a cheap ticket to join him in Europe for part of this trip? I know it could be stretching the budget, but starting to travel with my H on his business trips was one of the best things I ever did for my marriage. And I figure a divorce is way more expensive than a few airline tickets.

As for BFL - oh, if only my thighs looked as trim and toned as my arms! Starting week five .....

Ellie