Steve, I'm glad my words helped you. Sue and Pam, I don't feel like I'm doing too well today. I feel like I'm back at the beginning, it has been 9 months and the same feelings are back, that pit in the stomach is back.
Friday H came home in the mood where he would not look at me, would not talk to me. Everything made him mad, I asked it something was wrong, work me, us, kids, he just said no and stayed away from me and stayed on his side of the bed.
Saturday he went to work for the morning, he called and asked what the plans were for the day, I told him it was up to him, he then said if it was up to him he would work all day. He did come home around lunch and there was a small thawing, but the kids were a major handful all day and he snapped often at them.
Sunday was a day I planned to go away with my girlfriend. I had asked him 3 months ago about this. He has been very pissy about this, I asked him if he minded, he said he really didn't have a choice about it, did he? I did go, and he made sure that he knew he wasn't pleased about it. I called in the evening to say I was heading home and his voice was as cold as it gets. He had a horrible day, S6 was put to bed around 6:30 and S4 had to take a nap afternoon. He was sleeping in the guest room when I got home. He said goodbye this morning, but same tone, etc.
So now my questions. I just started reading DR again. I know we should not make any decisions while we are emotional, but I'm tired of spending so many days crying. I've been tripling my efforts to do things around the house, at the expense of doing things with the kids, tyring to please him, but it isn't working. He does tell me every blue mood he appreciates the work I've done, but those words are enough, I want more. Am I expecting too much?
In the beginners mind chapter there is a part that says that holding in conflicts, not saying what you want/need it a cause of divorce. But later it talks about picking battles and not pushing. So, do I let H know how hurt I am by his actions or do I just wait to let this pass? He leaves Friday for 3 weeks in Europe, do I wait and see if this improves his mood or do I open my mouth?
I don't cry around him, I'm am probaby to needy in asking him what is wrong, but I'm at a lost on what to do. In the beginning of the M he adored me, and I so much miss that. I didn't realize what I had, but I know feel like he hates both me and the kids.
