Cagz is really moving ahead Wierd...

[cagzmom]

Update--

Well the papers came and are here. In the state of North Carolina I can sit on them for 30 days - but they will take affect whether or not I want them to.

Had ideas- like signing them and taking them to him (it says you can do that) or calling and saying --- I will bring your papers just tell ow to leave. (tomorrow is her bday and making her leave would make me happy -- but then she would get what she wanted...which she is getting anyway.)

I truthfully don't think he cares. Doesn't even phase him
I know him -watched him sign countless papers over the years - he never read them why woudl he have read this...that HE wanted a divorce. Well he got what he wanted.

I realized tonight (before getting the papers) something DUMB because I knew it and know it. My H (or should I now call him xh) is the most STUBBORN man I have ever known and has NEVER done ANYTHIGN that he didn't want to do. NEVER. And this is no different. He says he is sad etc etc. BUT this IS WHAT HE WANTS.

I wont sign the papers tomorrow - I dont think I will sign them until June. (i know it is stupid BUT I DONT want it to be around HER birthday at all!!) I wish I could sign them on my anniversary (June 19) but it will be too late the papers will alreayd have done their thing....

So I am now among the Divorced.
Sad- scared - feel wierd and empty.
Dont know what else to feel or think.

Reading the boards I know that people will think I failed. I didn't do this right or that right. S** I dont know what I COULD HAVE DONE right. He left - he left me. I stayed, worked on me and took care of the family he broke apart.

I am sad....