I think you are right, h4h. He did try to keep communicating when he saw me "in my mood", and wanted to talk it out, and we did a little bit of that. But, I didn't want to tell him that it was the OM on my mind that was causing me to be like this. That would do no good for him, and it wouldn't make anything better or easier on me, either. I will be telling all of you guys about those things, he doesn't need to hear them. Happy and fun is contagious, and my H is like how you use to be ....if he sees me unhappy, he is all unhappy....he feeds off me.

Journaling: H woke up for work and was quiet so as not to wake me. Before he left, he brushed my hair off my face a few times and kissed me on the cheek. S woke up at normal time and gave me lots of hugs and kisses. Nice way to start my day. My family givin' me love. \:\) S and I snuggled and watched "Word World" on TV together and then got him breakfast.

E-mailed H first this time. Told him about some family things, etc. and included something about my funk and how I was glad we are doing so many fun things this weekend because it gives us a chance to make some new, fun memories. He e-mailed later and let me know that he is looking forward to it, too. He promised he woudln't be "grumpy" (son tells him he is grumpy all of the time) and we would have a good time. I'm really looking forward to it.

Ok, I sit here, thinking, what can I do TONIGHT to help our marriage. H is with S at T-ball right now, and I have some work to finish. But, when he gets back....hmmmmm.........I'm looking at the list he made and one thing is to workout together. If he goes and lifts tonight, I will come with him. I really don't want to AT ALL. But, I need to make myself do these things if anything is going to happen. Then, later, I will give him a backrub and let him watch the show he wants (which I absolutely abhor). So, I will do 3 things off of his list- do things together like working out, backrubs, and doing things that I dont' really like doing. I guess I need to do them with a smile, too.

Today, wasn't so bad with OM thoughts. I thought about him off and on, but not as intensely and with as much sadness. This weekend I felt on the verge of tears all the time. The thing that I think about the most for some reason is every time I drive I look for his car. Strange.