ot, friends...am I always going to feel this way? I hate that I still love him. I lied to him last night. I feel like I have to keep lying to myself, force myself to believe that I don't want him to come home. And the logical part of me knows that I am missing a man who no longer exists--the one who loved me is gone.
I hate this. I hate this. I HATE THIS!!!!
I hear him talking to the kids on the phone in the other room. And I just want to be on another planet. I don't want to hear how much he loves them, how nice he is, how hard he is trying to be a good dad. I don't want to start to hate him, become bitter. I don't want to be without him. Damn it....off to another AlAnon meeting. Please, please let this stop.
