Ok, I know I'm taking up too much space today, but you are about to lock up anyway....might as well end with me...lol.

While reading the post since lunch when I wrote last...wow...it has been a few....something made me think of this that I wanted to add to what I had said about the wife returning home before she was emotionally ready. You haven't been M as long as me, but I remember feeling that I really needed a "vacation" from my H! I wanted to experience some freedom so badly. Now, it's true that I did want to be free to do things that I shouldn't be doing.....but, in all honesty, I wanted to escape from everyone and just be my myself. I had never lived alone. I went from my parents' home straight to living as a married woman....in the house with my MIL (no less) and then had a baby the first year of M. We have had somebody in the same house with us all these years except for maybe two....if that long.

When our M problems got bad a little over a year ago, everything my H did was getting on my nerves so badly and he couldn't be very nice to me due to his own hurt so things were very tense in the home. If I had had the money, I would have gotten an apartment for a short time to to get the "relief" that I spoke to you about earlier. That is what you were experiencing that first night after your W left. It was a relief to just not feel all that tension in the air. I never was in favor of M people taking separate vacations....so don't get me wrong here, but under the circumstances when there has been so much to go down......I have to wonder if a short "break" from each other would not help some. As I said, it helps to rest your "heart", so to speak....you said yourself that you even slept better. I just believe that she needs to get a lot worked out before she is ready to be what you need her to be again.

You are getting all worked up again CBK and I think it is just the anxiety of knowing that you'll be seeing her and talking with her and it has you in knots. This is not healthy and this is what I'm saying about taking a short break from each other if it is having that type of effect on you physically. Your body is really going to get sick under this kind of long term stress. Look at how much weight you have lost in a short period of time! Oh, BTW, don't take your son's meds......not a good idea b/c they could work entirely differently on you! However, I just cannot understand why a doctor would not give you AD's to help get you through such an emotional and depressing time.

Anyway, I guess I just wanted to add that to what I said earlier for you to think about, in case she doesn't sound very positive about coming back home now. Try to look at it as being for the best....for her and for you. Then, when some of the fires start to go down some, maybe the stitch can change for the better.

Go into that meeting knowing that you have your network with you "in spirit", anyway! We are behind you and want the best for you. You have a lot of friends here on the board. I'd say you are about one of the most popular guys around the community! That should help the ego....lol.

Take care sweetie. Try not to sweat the small stuff. When you feel that you are getting weak and emotional....come talk to us...but warn us not to knock you up beside the head...lol....and that you just need to talk.

Sandi

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!