I am afraid of not finding that connection that i'm looking for, but i also think that if i don't look i will never find it.
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As for my fairy tale of a loving relationship - you have said exactly the same things to me in the past. You want to be that old couple sitting on a bench or the porch swing, holding hands reminiscing about their long life together. maybe you didn't specifically say that you would die right after me because we can't live without each other, but you want that same fairy tale. Don't make me the bad guy for wanting the same thing just because i don't know that it is with you that i will find it.
i know that the feelings of first loving some one are fleeting, true love is deep and comes with time. i understand that. and if that had happened for me, was happenin gfor me, then i wouldn't have left. I wouldn't have cheated twice. i don't just throw in the towel when things get rough. I've worked through a lot in my life and I need to work on figuring out me and what it is that i want
This is where we always seem to disagree. I don't believe that this connection is something you 'find'. It is something you create and nurture. Of course you're not going to create it when there is no initial attraction, there needs to be that initial spark. Something to build off of.
We had that. We had / have the foundation, but I digress. We've discussed this before and we just don't seem to see it the same way. Maybe it is me that is living in the fairy tale when I keep trying to hold onto something so broken.
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i know you feel like i misled you with regard to my reasoning for moving out. i hate to admit that i did but not with the intention of hurting you. i was trying to figure out a way to make it an easier transition and not so final.
Unfortunately, there's been a series of hurts. Never with intention. I've been realizing over the past couple of weeks, that you had no intention of working on us and feel as though I've have been too trusting.
