KAW, the cycle how I see it, is he gets in this grumpy/stone mood where when he comes home he will shoot looks at me and doesn't come near me to say hello/hug. I get the, oh no, something is wrong feeling in my stomach and begin to get upset--what is wrong, is it me (if it is work he will usually share it), then I feel I need to cheer him up, and ask what is wrong, and start feeling like the whole relationship is going downhill. What I want is a reassurance that the whole thing is not collapsing, but of course he won't give me that, not even when things are going well. So why should I expect it then? When he is like this, I start needing things more from him--hugs, conversation, I don't get it, I get grumpy and thus the cycle. Classic stuff, and things I should know better than to fall into the trap of doing. I just feel my resolve slipping.
DB, I know I need to stop that Daddy will be mad, bit and take it on as my responsibility, I guess I'm more lenient with the kids, but he is a more order type of guy than me.
Lee, I am starting to make plans in my head, at least, to do stuff with the kids this weekend. I was going to drive 10 hours to see my folks, but that seems ridiculous for a short weekend. Even if it is a park, can do that all day.
Rob, I did go to the b-ball game and had a great time with the kids. Front row seats, S6 got a game ball, the boys got balls on strings, the couple behind me complimented me on how well behaved the kids were and we all came home in great moods!
H had come up stairs at about time to leave and asked if we were going to eat at the ball park. I told him I thought we decided he wasn't going. He gave his grumpy look and started the spiel about how much stuff to do around the house---I said, I know, I understand, and that is fine, I'll take the kids. He gave me a look like he didn't quite trust the words out of my mouth, and ready to still argue with me.
Felt good that I went and didn't make him. New goal--do not force family time on H. It isn't fun anyway with an unwilling party.
