I'm sorry Jackie, but I'm not familar enough with your sitch to pickup on exactly what you are saying, but I'll ask... What is the pattern/cycle here of what isn't working? What have you done up to now to diffuse cycle?
In dealing with your H anger. Tell him you aren't making any plans ... that it is just an invite to do something fun with the family. It IS his choice to join in or not and its perfectly OK with you one way or the other. Then ask, would he rather you stop asking if he is interested in doing things that sound like having some good family fun?
Maybe it might be a good idea to have some contingency plan for when your H has these outbursts so you can remove yourself from his anger. Is there a neighbor's or friend's place you can go and hang for a little bit on inpromtu notice. Perhaps take the kids to the movies or the mall...even a park ... pratice your karate. Politely excuse yourself including a comment to the effect that your sorry he feels things are not the way they should be, but you are trying your best. If that's not good enough for you right now, then perhaps its best I'm not in your company for the moment. Then leave.
Jackie , I know how you feel about all you've been thru and the realization of how much more effort you will need to find the strength to apply towards as I'm at that very place myself. After nine good months of "piecing", I find myself right back at square one with what once worked not working anymore. What motivates me is knowing how good I felt when times were good while "Piecing" and that I still keep hope that we can get back there again.
