Taking the Plunge and Moving to Piecing

[rjd5974]

Looks like things are going mostly good. The best thing is you're not letting all the little frustrations send things into a downward spiral.

Everytime you start to get down about something he's doing, or not doing..saying, or not saying just remind yourself to be patient and that this is a slow process that you're willing to go through.

A couple of things, about the grumpy attitude, and his eagerness to get back to work. These are classic male traits, think nothing of it. When we're grumpy it's usually just because we need some time alone. Whether we know it or not, we'll take out our frustrations on those around us if we don't get this space. I used to get this way too before I knew what was going on in my head. And the work thing, that's pretty standard male provider stuff. A lot of men really identify themselves by their work. I can't say I know about that one though, as I'd be fine on permanent vacation from work if it was possible!

Again, just remember to try to see things from your H's point of view when he's doing something that seems a little off to you. That will make it easier to validate his feelings and in the end, will cause there to be less of these "episodes".

Also, be careful with all the inquiry's about the ILY's and that stuff. You don't want to scare him. You also don't want to have him in the mindset where nothing he says or does is enough for you. At that point, he might shut down and you won't hear it at all. Instead, bring on the fanfare when he gives you an ILY. Thank him for sharing his feelings, and return the ILY's. Positive reinforcement. It works for dogs, it works for people.