Please define "call all the shots." CBK is still able to set reasonable boundaries (no contact with OM for example, and proof via transparency), isn't it? Just treat his wife, should she come back, as a full partner in their marriage, correct?
Just trying to clarify your position. Thanks.
Puppy
"call the shots"...in a short answer, he's letting me lead our interactions. I could give a bunch of examples, but the overall feeling is that he accepts me, respects my time, he's interested in my opinions, & respects my choices.
I can't say what is reasonable for CBK. He's said that her being in contact with OM is a dealbreaker. Each time my H tried to push me to end contact with OM, it pushed me closer to OM. OM made no demands on me, my H had made too many demands for too many years. I knew how that felt & I didn't want that anymore.
Thanks for the clarification, Smartcookie. I wholeheartedly agree with you on the first part; the second part is a "boundary" with CBK and not an issue he wishes to exert any "control" over his wife on, it seems to me.
Yes, letting a wayward spouse know that we are no longer willing to live in an open marriage CAN push them toward the OM/OW. But it can also establish a very important personal boundary, and compel the wayward spouse to make an informed decision. Understanding, of course, that that decision may not go the way we want it to.
