I think you might be on to something there, Michelle.

Damn, girl, you are good!

He is NOT like this at all with his friends/coworkers. He has to exhibit emotional and mental stability at all times. Otherwise, it would mean his job if someone were to leak this about him to the higher-ups. He definitely doesn't want that to happen! I believe he does have some sense of control in that environment. He knows how to solve problems that arise, and they often look to him for that.

The swearing.....Yeah, it doesn't really bother me all that much either. That's just how he's always been, and his problem isn't drugs (btw, no need to tip-toe, Jeff \:\) ). I think it's depression coupled with alcohol. They test for drugs and alcohol quite frequently (as they should at a refinery). He drinks a lot of beer (though he would say 8 or 9 bottles is nothing for a guy his size - 6', 210 lbs.) but is always sure to finish his last one for the night 8 hours prior to his next shift. I guess so that it has time to get out of his system.

It's almost funny to think that he wouldn't know how to at least start fixing the R with me when this is something we talked about many, many times. I suppose it's as he said though - he doesn't WANT to try.

Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell