When my husband had his affair and I was faced with being a LBS, I contacted OM, and told him pointblank. It was now or never. We either had to get back together or I was going to fix my marriage. He told me he intended to stay married to his wife, they had their retirements all set up.
So that told me a lot of things. It told me I'd been a stupid dreaming fool for 20 years. It told me money was more important than love to him. And it made me see that this dream I had clung to for 20 years had never been more than a fantasy. All I really had was a penpal. And of course, I lost respect for him, because he had let me on through the years, and then he had the nerve to say he had never led me on. It doesn't matter if I get an email a year from him telling me about his trips to China or wherever. I am over it.
