Thanks all, for keeping me on the straight and narrow. Lee, there is so much patience needed here, you are right. I just want to plow through this process, but most likely it is the process that will make the M stronger, and me too.
DoRight--I've been thinking about the whole incident, and it really was small, but how my reaction provides what the next step in this scenario will be. I set the tone to this after the initial outburst.
KAW--yes, one statement/reaction can change the whole dynamic. I know have come up with a much better reaction to the whole thing, two days later, but hopefully can put my knowledge to use at the next misunderstanding.
DB--You called me on the feeling sorry for myself, and you were right. And that was the pre-bomb me, working to change that. No one wants to be around a woe is me type of person.
Steve, I agree, the apology spoke huge amounts that his words don't always convey. Actions!
Joyboy--always good to see you, it was about his dissapointment in me not taking the time to do things right. Which is true, I don't feel like taking 10 minutes to roll up a stupid hose when I'm going to just be using it again, but since it is important to him.....
Rob, you are right on the nose, this piecing is in some ways harder than the intital steps. When H would be gone on a business trips it would be easier some weeks as I wouldn't be analyzing every small exchange between us.
Sue, I love the weight analogy. I must not fall back into the unhealthy habits of the M before, and same with eating. I just need to grow up and eat like a grown up.
I got on LL's bandwagon and listed three things that were good yesterday and it kept me going all day, even when I called H and he didn't seem to keen on talking (could have been work issue--isn't all about me, was just calling to tell him I kicked a hole in the wall at karate )
Good things.
1. He apologized 2. He called me at home just to see how I was doing. 3. He responded to an email with a playful nickname I've been using.
)
