When life just hits you

[Bworl]

I'm a little late with this, but let me chime in too.


We sadden ourselves when we try to apply OUR reason and rationale to the behaviors of these people.


Maybe they're not actually crazy, maybe they are. And no, this is not an "Is MLC a disease or not" argument. I'll just say that they have the ability to function in the areas that they want to function in. So we're absolutely ok with holding them accountable for their decisions and actions, ok?


So that means that what we have discovered is that these individuals, who we have loved with all our hearts, have consciously chosen to violate every promise they ever made to us (and our children in some cases).


THEY have chosen to be the kind of person that we, as couples, used to shake our heads in disgust about.


It's hard for us to accept that these spouses have either become or been discovered to have always been, seriously flawed and dishonest people.


And no, I don't feel the need to beat up on our spouses. That's not my point.


I'm just tired of US always being on the short end of the feel good stick. And really, we are the only ones who can do something to make this stop.


If you are a man of poor morals, one who cares not what society judges to be proper and decent, you could easily be swayed by a pretty young 20-something debutante who expressed an interest in ravishing your body on a regular basis. Good Lord, what man would not be flattered by that?


But a good man? A man of his word, a man with integrity, a man who honors his commitments and promises, a man who places the well being of his family far before his own?


That man, while he can see how exciting that might seem to be, that man wants nothing to do with those types of choices. That good man KNOWS that the newness, the excitement, the flashiness, NONE of it is worth what he would lose in the process.


Sorry Cinders - what's my point?


I know it hurts to be replaced.

And I know it hurts to have HIS family welcome in the one who replaced you.

I've felt both of these, as have many others here. That doesn't make the hurt wrong or make you feel it any less.

It's just how it goes. And yeah, that means we have to accept the reality and find a new place for ourselves.



But he's not the man he once aspired to be.

You're not losing as much as you think you are.

And life has a way of evening out eventually.


My buddy FIB once shared with me a quote by Albert Camus. I had never heard it before. He shared it with me at a time that I was feeling incredibly low and down about how things had turned out. That quote spoke to me, and caused me to realize that there is MUCH more to me than the life I had with her.

I would have lived it forever. But now I don't even want it back.


Here's the quote.


"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an Invincible summer."


Find your invincible summer.

I hope we all can.


Blessings,


Bill