I think if I was invited to come clean the old house, I wouldn't see it as a gesture to connect, I'd interpret that as, "you lived here too, you need to come clean it up." What I'm trying to say is that I'd be annoyed. She SHOULD by all means help you clean it up, but don't think of that as an extension of you "reaching out to her." She really won't see it that way. UNLESS cleaning is her thing, and she REALLY likes it. It might be huge if you called her and said, "I cleaned the house for us, so don't worry about it. I know you've been busy, so I didn't call you." OR she might not even think she needs to help clean since she's been out for so long, it which case that last message would piss her off... Man, your wife confuses me!
As far as LRT, that's a tough one with her. She's made it clear that she wants you to reach out to her, but at the same time, everytime you do, it bites you...and she gets mad. Personally, I think she needs some LRT. She needs some time to miss you, and NOT hear from you, and think about what the heck is going on.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
