Isn't it funny how we can always think of things for other people's stitches? I get the worst brain farts sometimes when I'm faced with golden opportunities with my H lol.
LOL! Me, too!
If only we could somehow step back from our sitches, take the emotions out of it, and look at it from the outside....See the bigger picture....as we often can in other Rs.
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As for the boys, they all gotta grow up sometime. And it's not always easy lol. I think our H's are long past-due however.
I think that's something they need to start addressing in Sex Ed/Family Life, when they're still very young and teachable. If you're old enough to do the deed, you'd better act it and be responsible from that day on. There's no reverting back to your childhood!
Geez......
So Sunday turned out nice, with H settling down and everything. Good things came about. However, it was back to the same old, same old with him yesterday. He was just madder than.....*Sigh*.....I don't know.
Everything was 'f this', 'f that'. Doors were being slammed shut. He tried calling his sister for something, and when she didn't answer, he said, "Why is it everytime I call my sister, her phone is off?! Straight to VM! I f***ing hate that sh**!!!.....I f***ing hate everything!!!", then he stormed out into the garage.
I was on the computer at one point, and he said, "I don't understand how you can be on that thing so much! I'm on it for 5 minutes and I get frustrated! (Friend)'s on the internet all the time, too, and I f***ing hate that sh**! It's so f***ing stupid!" I said nothing. Just kept reading some headlines. He went out into the man-cave again, then I logged off for the rest of the evening. Didn't want him to think that I wasn't totally listening (although I am trying to use the internet as much as I can until he decides to make good on his threat ).
Awhile later, he came back inside when the kids were getting ready for bed. He was sorta pleasant with them, but just looked "meaner than a dog sh***in' tacks"! He sat down to watch TV, I gave him the remote so he could put on whatever he wanted, he tossed it back my way saying, "I don't want to watch TV! I don't care! I'm f***ing wired and bored and can't go to sleep! I hate feeling this way! Watch whatever you want!"
I flipped through the channels - no matter what I put on, he complained, I would change the channel to something else. Still he complained - "This is so stupid!", "This is f***ing retarded!", gripe, gripe, b**** and moan.
He tried going to sleep (FINALLY!!) but came back into the living room about 10, 15 minutes later because he just couldn't fall asleep. I was watching the "World Poker Tour" (one of the shows I had on earlier which he complained about), but he didn't gripe as much this time. He was still sure to criticize the players' moves though!
That WHOLE time, I didn't let any of it get to me. IT WAS HARD, I wanted to scream, "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM??!!! STFU ALREADY!!!", but of course I didn't. It did get so bad at times that I took in audible deep breaths and let out HUGE sighs, followed by smaller sighs of relief. Don't know if he noticed, but that doesn't matter. I had to keep myself together.
So after the program was over, H got up to use the bathroom. While he was doing that, I turned everything off and went to get myself ready for bed. He came into the bedroom after me and went to sleep, too.
Sheeeeeesh.....I wonder what's in store for today!
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
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