The door is offically closed

[braveheart]

And that must suck. Because placing no trust into any belief that goodness in yourself will bring goodness anywhere else shows no motivation for goodness in yourself.

I am by no means saying you're unlikable. I don't know you, and I have a hunch that you and I could discuss some doosies.

But what you call misplaced trust in luck or karma, on several others' threads now, I call faith and hope. And I see nothing wrong, or worthy of being called out, with having faith or hope. To me, faith and hope are the seeds of love. And who couldn't use a little more of that?

I will just say this, I have faith in ME, because that is the only person that I have any control over. I do not consider faith and hope the seeds of love, I think dedication and committment are, faith and hope are 2 misguided emotions, point being, faith and hope is what usually causes spouses to walk away, they have faith and hope in the OP whom they have took up with. Dedication and committment is what keeps relationships together through tough times.

[BigHands]

Well, thank God we don't all have that dark, or self-centered an outlook.

Or

Let me guess. God doesn't enter into any of it either, because you can only control you.

[fig]

just because our exes used it as an excuse doesn't make it bad

and

i for one will never let my ex take faith and hope away from me.

they are mine

you could use the same excuses for not believing in commitment (they were committed to finding their own happiness)
or dedication
(they were dedicated to the idea that we had to get divorced)

I for one am tired of giving them that much power...

I have hope for a better future...maybe not one I had invisioned 5 years ago but one better than I even knew existed
I have faith that it will happen...I will continue to do the work that I need to do and put my faith in God's hands to help me figure things out
I am dedicated to finding myself and recognizing my own strengths
I am committed to the idea that someone else does not define me.

we all come here at different points
and
we all have different ideas

there are people who 10 years later are still bitter over what was done to them

I could live my life in that place too
angry that my childhood was taken away from me
small and weak because of what happened to me later
distrustful because my 1st husband beat me to a pulp
depressed because my 2nd was a compulsive liar and sociapath

I could live my life afraid that I will make another mistake

or

I could choose to live my life in happiness
hoping that I learned from past mistakes
having faith that I am more than this situation

I am a person who doesn't see babysteps
I dont' really care about them
I am not a good dber

but I have faith and hope
commitment
dedication

and

love

[Rob1231]

Hi shoester, Sorry to hear that you are hitting such a rough spot. I know you'll pull out of it, though - you're a bright, funny, wonderful person, and I am certain that many good things are in store for you. Hope they come your way SOON!

[shoeprincess]

thanks Rob! always appreciatte you dropping by.
I have to also say I have all the four above mentioned things.
Faith, hope, dedication and commitment.
I really do not see where the WAS's had either of these things. I dont see them having faith or hope with the OW or OM. It is called lust and not having morals.

[Bworl]

At the risk of engaging in "idle chat"...

BH and BH are arguing semantics as far as I'm concerned.

Been around here long enough to know that Braveheart has a very realistic view of things. Like the rest of us, his outlook is based on his experiences. He helps all of us see the reality that so many times we'd prefer to ignore. He might be a bit more blunt than sometimes people would prefer, but he's not rude and he's certainly not someone it sucks to be.

Big Hands, don't know you, have only read your many posts. You seem like you have a good outlook on things. I'm not sure why you'd want to lay it heavy on Braveheart for his particular bent. After the crap most of us have gone through, I think we'd all be tired of having people bitch at us just because we don't see things the way they do.

In the end, I think you're both saying the same stuff, you're just using different words.

Bravehearts got plenty of faith and hope, but his is in HIM. He trusts what he sees, because, like many of us, he's been decieved by the very person who was supposed to NEVER decieve.

Room for all of us here.

As long as we're not engaging in idle chat at least...


Blessings,

Bill

[shoeprincess]

thanks for the idle chit chat Bill! You make some good points.

[cat03]

hey sp, hugs))))))))))))))))))) do something really special for yourself this weekend, plan something so you can look forward to something else, to occupy your mind while the blow in the stomach fades.

luv u fig, you are right on

[shoeprincess]

great idea Cat! Thanks. I am thinking about planting some flowers in the front and moving some plants from the front to the back. Gardening helps me relax, that is until i am whining because my back hurts.

[BigHands]

Bworl, and Braveheart, hopefully,

(Sorry for the jack, Shoe. Won't be long, I promise.)

To engage in more idle chit chat . . .

I realize now how completely judgemental some of my earlier words come off, and that is one thing I try, stress try, not to be. I have little doubt that anyone on this thread thus far is a person of character and substance, and certainly each person's faith, and choice in guidance or inspiration is their own. It may seem a semantic argument. To me it seems not to be. First, I'll offer an apology for the judgemental poo I dropped earlier. Second, I'll submit for consideration that while self-reliance is grand, there must still be faith and inspiration in things beyond our own being. Call it luck, God, karma, The Secret, or payoff. I have seen to much and experienced too much to believe it isn't there. And although I am not what many would consider to be a religious man, I do believe that my faith in and inspiration by outside influence has helped me to see beyond a lot of cynicism that experience has offered me.

I hope that says it better.