Hi and what a pleasant surprise to see you over here I went to newcomers and saw your post about moving and I am so happy for you moving in the right direction. I wish you the best of luck here and I just wish I was able to join you, but that is not something that looks like it is going to come to pass. You have been very strong and fought hard for your marrige. It is good to see a girl who believes in her marriage vows and chose to keep them.
A warm welcome to you Jackie, even if it is a little belated. I have become a little familar with your sitch by dropping by darkblue's thread from time to time. Glad to see you are comfortable enough to make the jump over to here. In some aspects, its really not much different in your approach than before. Patience is still a large key allowing each other to draw closer together. However, some more techniques of the DB do tend to present themselves at this stage and it is always a good idea to reread DR for a refresher on other techniques you can use to work those issues when your not doing the one person tango.
Jackie used her own techniques to get here, I am studying them now. Such as asking her older husband "so what is it like to be 37" when she was still 36.
Thank you everyone for the warm welcome to Piecing! I need to start reading and get caught up on everyone over here, it does seem to be a bit different at this stage than the frantic post-bomb days/months.
KAW -- that is a good suggestion, I need to re-read DR, I'm sure what I get out of it now will be different than before.
Rob--I'm finding I should be asking myself if my actions will be getting myself to my goals in areas outside of the R too! Seems I can do a lot of things that are counterproductive to what I want.
Vince--I'm sorry things are going well for your sitch, still think your W is a fool to let you go.
Charcaol--Yunegling is a favorite! Espceially with summer and baseball season.
Thanks Sue!
DB--thanks for the compliment and then reminding me of my gaffes---I asked H what 37 was like, which has to have been the worst year of his entire life. Not too smooth.
H returned from his business trip last night, saw him at the T-ball game, he could have been more affectionate, but he did have a big smile, so that was good! And the kids wanted his attention too. Have to remember that my expectations are different than his. He did show my later he was glad to be home--I just need to learn how to be patient.
Still working on 5LL, having a harder time figuring out mine that his. Want to finish the book and then, at the right time, bring up what I learned with him.
Hi Jackie ~ So happy to see you here. You are right to continue patience, patience, patience. There are, I'm sure new feelings and fears at this stage, but it sounds so good from here. You're a wonderful example. When you have time, I always appreciate your posts to my thread, but I understand that you have a different focus now. It is a good point you made that DB principals can apply to more than just our R's - I have asked myself "Will eating this snickers bar get me closer to my goal or further away from it?" Take care ~ you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers ~
Mockers2
"Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
Quote: "Will eating this snickers bar get me closer to my goal or further away from it?"
M--that is so me! I'm gaining what I lost from the "bomb" diet, and I am starting to ask myself the question more often--with food and the kids, it does help.
DB--I can send you all the weight you need.
Quiet night last night, H wanted to watch the Phillies and I wanted to read, so we both did what we wanted after a nice, lazy dinner. It was kind of nice, I feel like sometimes I push so much to be together, that alone time in the house is nice, too. For the first time it didn't feel like we were avoiding each other, just enjoying some alone time.
So this morning we were cuddling the few minutes before the kids come in. I finally snuck in a ILY that I have wanted to for about two weeks and all I got back was a squeeze, though better than the blasted "I know" I used to get back. Then we were talking about sex and I was teasing and asking a lot of whys, and eventually he said that is the fringe benefits of being married and in love!! Wow. In love came out of the mouth of my H. It seems about every two weeks I get a "love" word in a sentence. I wanted very much to pursue the conversation and ask him, did you mean that? You are now in love with me again? But, I did not and just accepted it with a huge smile. Keeping the mouth shut seems to be one of the hardest parts.
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