Well, been waiting to move over to this forum, I think it is safe to do so, hoping I won't jinx anything.
Brief History:
Me 37 H 37 S6 and S4
Fall 2002---My parents move in with us for 5 months, H begins to travel weekly including usually one day of the weekend. S starts kindergarten and becomes a behavior problem. S4 also has speech delays. I become angry with H--never around to help. Everyone miserable.
11/4/02 -- H drops bomb. Wants divorce, no longer in love with me, all future plans do not include me, cannot honor wedding vows. Also lots of cell phone calls, he begins to take them outside. I snoop once, he finds out and hits the roof.
Nov 2002 -- begin M counselor--she is just okay, gets us to see some things, but DR still the best thing that is helping me. I join karate in an attempt to get a life.
Dec 2002 -- we go to London in effort to spend time together. He still singing the same tune that we are not connected.
Winter 2003 --- I keep with my changes and tension eases. D not mentioned since end of January. Ps move out. H begins to travel again, I keep sunny attitude.
May 2003 -- I say one of my bi-weekly ILYs and he says it back. Two weeks ago he says ILY without any prompting. H is planning a mystery vacation for the family in 3 weeks and he is taking me to Switzerland when he goes there for business this summer.
And that is where I am. Made lots of changes in my outlook and now I am his cheerleader with work and try to listen and validate when we talk, but need lots of work there.
Some days I wonder if this is really what I want, and can't believe it after I have worked so hard, but emotions still can be all over the board. I still have angry period where I think I'm doing everything around here, especially when he is in his grumpy moods, but learning to not act on those and to leave him to his moods when they appear.
Dying for a R talk. Last time we talked, he rated our M as a 6 out of 10. Curious if that has improved (that was last month). We have a book we were working on, but haven't done it in about two months and very hesitant to bring it up. Though, I want a happy, healthy M, not one that is just hanging together by strings. Working on the 5LL book at the moment.
So that is my story. Need to dig out my goals and give them a look, haven't done that in a few months.
