scary times

[daybyday]

i am not sure if this is where i belong but i believe it is. i explain and let you all decide. first if anyone could tell me how to post links to my sitch that would be great.

about 4 months ago got the bomb. not happy, ilybnilwy, not attracted, etc. she sugg counseling. we have gone ever since. slow progress. still lived together but she had made it clear she wanted to run. a lot of issues with her as far as self confidence is concerned. we both had gotten lazy, i especially, and she had just shut down. she just told me about 2 weeks ago that she didnt like me for a long time,

well, friday we went to mc and w said she was ready to recommit to marriage. naturally i was ecstatic. i didnt show it but i was. we have been talking in great links for about 3 weeks. she used to cringe at r talk. now she almost invites it.

also, about 3 weeks ago i found out she had been chatting with a male friend on line. ea probably. i confronted her, she confessed was very remorseful etc. i told her, no more, it must end. she agreed. so, since then she has been a different person. she is actually making an effort. before she wasvjust going thru motions. she said said the guilt from the ea was what was keeping her closed off.

so, she is back and said that we are going to work thru this. that it is going to take time. its like we are starting over. much talking. we are friends again.

i thought all of my fears and insecurities would go away when she said she recommitted. they havent yet. i realize i'm a newby but i sure hope it gets easier. w and i both are a little nervous around each other when alone. very scary for me. never know whats next. i would appreciate any and all advice i can get on how to proceed. i got lots of good advice from many in newcomers.

m-42
w-37
m-17yr
s-5
bomb-1-25-2008
w recommit-5-16-2008