thanks guys))))))))) doing great, things considering, getting ready for the trip.

I need to be checked on now and then whapu, thanks, nonsense does creep into my brain \:\)

stbx will stay with dog, let me know today that, just so I'll know, "someone" will help. He did apologize knowing it hurts me but asked me if he rather lie to me and I said no.

Hurt a bit, of course, he talked about last time he had to take dog there, how they both (dog & him) slept on the couch). Now and then I ask certain seemingly innocous questions to know if he's been there or not *SIGH*, guess it is a monkey on my back I"m still fighting with.

Bottom line, whatever he said about her in the past (I could never be with her, we couldnt stand each other more than a month, I know we couldnt' have a R with her, etc) he still went back to her, regardless what I did or did not do. This is his choice, he isn't changing and was mentally gone from the M for the most part we were piecing.

I was finding some weird solace knowing he is buying a place nearby, half because the kids wouldn't be too far from me, half from knowing he was still around. Damn, we've been together 13yrs, guess the umbilical cord is still has some life left.
Was trying to fool myself into being happy that he isn't moving in with her, and she can't move in with him, at least not yet, her condo lost TONS of value and she couldn't sell without owing a lot to the bank. BUT, I have to stop deluding myself, I might get a kick in the gut later when I find out she's renting and still moving in with him or whatever other way they can find to be together.
He isnt my H anymore, my good loving H wouldnt' never done this to me. He is a parent of my children, if he is doing good then it is good for the children, his live is pointing away from me, and mine from him.

Reality check over.

Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

30something
2kids
survivor of S, MLC, A, D
I have peace in my heart, at last.