We're not far off -- at all -- you and I. I'm agreeing with just about everything you're doing, but have just felt that you're a week or so past the time to do this part of your plan:
Quote:
Then I'd planned on bringing up her reading "not just friends" and "after the affair" and see what she says. If she flat out says NO, then I'm going to discuss with her just what she plans on doing to see if we can make this work. If she him-haws around, I'll give her a week or so to think on it and then bring it up again. If she's refuses then, I'm going to tell her I can't live like this without her putting in any effort and it's doing me and our son more harm than good because we get our hopes up that things might have a chance and it's obvious she has no intention of trying. Of course, I won't word it as a demand or ultimatum, but more that she really needs to figure out what she wants and then do it because the way we're going is doing more harm than good.
and I also see you pursuing more than I'd like. Your wife responded to your firm stance, and now you've shifted to an "I don't want to spook her!" one, in my opinion.
I'm just encouraging you to do more of what has worked for you, and less of what got you into this mess in the first place (NOT that infidelity is your fault -- that's HER decision!).
Does that make sense?
Again, a week or two isn't going to kill you, but since you asked . . .
