Had a little rough patch last night, just was in a "miss my wife" mood. Didn't think about contacting her, but needed a good cry I guess. That has been the first one since Friday I think.
Okay, I need some input:
I have MC on Thursday, I know, why go, but this is the only time I think my WAW will talk to me. Since she told the kids she was only going to move out for a few days, my IC thinks she may want to talk about her moving back in. I am fine with this, but we need to set up some boundaries
1) She must stop contact with the other man 2) She needs to treat me with respect, even like a roommate is okay. I can't put up with the "pissyness" all the time
I would also like to say let's just spend 5 to 10 minutes a day and talk about "stuff" - just sit on the front porch over a glass of wine or a margarita.
Does this sound okay?
There is also the chance where she may say it is impossible to get to a place where she is happy with herself as long as she is in the house - if this comes up, I plan on saying "I am sorry you feel this way, but if that is truly how you feel, I will not stand in your way to find an apartment" IF this happens, should I also say that we need to have separate accounts as well or is that going to far?
Any other suggestions? I have until Thursday, so all input is needed and welcome.
CBK
I would not worry about whether your W shows up at MC or not. Go anyway for you. Your boundaries are your boundaries. I don't see anything wrong with setting boundaries. I don't know if I would let her know that you feel she is being "pissy" all the time..may want to find another word to use..
I think the small talk stuff comes as the anger subsides. If you attempt to make her have a glass and sit with you to talk about stuff then I think she will see that as pressure.
There is also the chance where she may say it is impossible to get to a place where she is happy with herself as long as she is in the house - if this comes up, I plan on saying "I am sorry you feel this way, but if that is truly how you feel, I will not stand in your way to find an apartment" IF this happens, should I also say that we need to have separate accounts as well or is that going to far?
I can see why you would say this..I'm wondering if you should just change a few words..instead of "to find an apartment" you should replace with "and let you go".
I also don't like the idea of separating things until it's all over. Separating things that have traditionally been joint can give her the impression that you have given up....of course, if she is not being responsible with the accounts or using them to "eat cake" then I think you should protect yourself and separate them. Hope I've not confused you more than you already are.
