Help Me Act AS IF, Part 5

[newnamenewlife]

I am all for solo time within a M. The problem is that H *never* wants to spend time with me anymore. So much of this is about him needing to find himself, the self that isn't an H or a dad. I would support that if he didn't have to cause all this upheaval in our lives.

I am cooperating now, yet he still acts as if I am holding him back. I spoke with the mediator at his request. But he didn't make an appt for us to meet with her, nor did he even ask me about my convo with her. He is so used to me initiating that kind of stuff and now that I'm not, it doesn't happen.Plus, he hates spending money. He's comfortable talking about the steps required in making an S happen, but for him to actually plunk down money and take action is going to require some major effort for him.

I wish I could give him an ultimatum--either leave or work on the R. He's not doing either one, just keeping us in limbo. Even if he doesn't move out until the fall, I want him to more mentally present for the months that he's here, though I know that is anti-DB. I am tired of living with the ghost of my H.