Hope4us struggle, part 4

[Hope4us]

Thanks Pup. The books are a concern to me, but I am trying to see things from her side and have had these thoughts: IF our marriage is to make it, I don't want it to go back to the way it was (even though I thought it was pretty good). And the book she just finished and the one she's got to read next are talking about life post affair/divorce. So yes, it concerns me, but I also take it that if our marriage is to work out, it will be a different marriage and possibly the post affair love that we COULD share would be what she's longing for? I have discussed with my friend Deb and she told me that she read the same type books while involved in her affair and for her it wasn't really comparing her life with the stories but more an escape from all the pain/turmoil that was her life. She said those books she read really didn't have any bearing on her marriage/affair. So I'm going to take it as such. See, I almost see these books as a positive sign that she's ended contact and is trying to hang on to the feelings she had in the affair. Are they a help? Probably not. Are they really going to make a difference in whether we make it or not? I don't think so, but I could be wrong. Still fogged out? You bet. But there's some baby steps there that at least show me she's been thinking a little more about us, whether on purpose or not. And I'm just going to keep that momentum going as best I can and see what happens in the next month or so.

She could be very well not serious about fixing the marriage. And if that's the case, she'll get her opportunity to be "free" in a month or so.