Maybe Last Thread in Separating, Found DB 2 Late

[cw68]

I'm kind of exhausted, so I'm not going to post much right now. But I made a move. All of us were out to dinner tonight to celebrate my D6's first choir concert. I told H that I thought I was going to file. The look on his face was priceless. He was definitely surprised and upset by my news. While holding his hand (lovingly detach), I told him that I didn't think he was coming back and asked him if he was. He admitted it didn't look like it. I told him that I just couldn't sit around waiting for him to make some kind of move toward trying to heal, that I knew he had it in him, but I just didn't see it happening. He said that he guess he just had to feel that he could instead of being told he could. I told him I knew he had it in him to face us, that I thought he had it in him to make it work, but that I didn't know that. That I needed to find that out. He gripped my hand so tightly. I told him that he had to either agree to go to marriage counseling or Retro or I was filing. That it wasn't that things had to drastically change quickly, but that the momentum had to shift. He said this was fair. We parted to meet at the high school and he hugged me close and long.

When we were in the concert, he was holding my hand for the first five minutes or so. A strong grip on my hand. After the concert, we walked holding hands for a bit. When we all said goodbye at the car to go to our separate homes, I told him I loved him. He said he loved me too. I said that I sure hope so, that I don't want to lose "this" as I pointed to the car with the kids and us. He said, "the unit" and I agreed. I told him that was half of it. The other half was us and that I admitted that didn't sound too romantic, but it was the truth. We hugged and he kissed me. Really kissed me, not with passion, but with emotion.

So I don't know, this could have been the moment we came together to say goodbye, but I'm happy to have held hands and kissed just one more evening.

I feel a big weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Whew.