Maybe Last Thread in Separating, Found DB 2 Late

[Virtually_Handsome]

((((((cw))))))

Why don't you think on it for a day or two. I think it might well be the right decision, but sleep on it a couple times. He wants to come back, what I'm trying to get a handle on is whether this will help him in that quest or not. I can see it going either way. I, at least, need to think some more!

[CBK]

CW - I agree - sleep on this for at least a couple of nights. I agree it may be the right thing to do - you have been doing a lot lately, so give yourself a breather and don't try and do too much too soon. You will know what is the right thing to do when you sleep on it. Sorry about the house - there is never a good time for our sitch's, but with the housing market the way it is, makes it even worse! Just be glad you are not in Stockton, I hear they have the most foreclosures in the USA! So, see , there is a slight silver lining.

Take care CW - worried about you.

CBK

[Sara]

Yeah, no rush. You just told him the other day that you wouldn't file. So live with that for a little while. Then change your mind if you choose to. But give it time.

[cw68]

I'm kind of exhausted, so I'm not going to post much right now. But I made a move. All of us were out to dinner tonight to celebrate my D6's first choir concert. I told H that I thought I was going to file. The look on his face was priceless. He was definitely surprised and upset by my news. While holding his hand (lovingly detach), I told him that I didn't think he was coming back and asked him if he was. He admitted it didn't look like it. I told him that I just couldn't sit around waiting for him to make some kind of move toward trying to heal, that I knew he had it in him, but I just didn't see it happening. He said that he guess he just had to feel that he could instead of being told he could. I told him I knew he had it in him to face us, that I thought he had it in him to make it work, but that I didn't know that. That I needed to find that out. He gripped my hand so tightly. I told him that he had to either agree to go to marriage counseling or Retro or I was filing. That it wasn't that things had to drastically change quickly, but that the momentum had to shift. He said this was fair. We parted to meet at the high school and he hugged me close and long.

When we were in the concert, he was holding my hand for the first five minutes or so. A strong grip on my hand. After the concert, we walked holding hands for a bit. When we all said goodbye at the car to go to our separate homes, I told him I loved him. He said he loved me too. I said that I sure hope so, that I don't want to lose "this" as I pointed to the car with the kids and us. He said, "the unit" and I agreed. I told him that was half of it. The other half was us and that I admitted that didn't sound too romantic, but it was the truth. We hugged and he kissed me. Really kissed me, not with passion, but with emotion.

So I don't know, this could have been the moment we came together to say goodbye, but I'm happy to have held hands and kissed just one more evening.

I feel a big weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Whew.

[Virtually_Handsome]

(((((((cw)))))))
It sounds like you did a great job. Now give him time to think about it!

[CBK]

CW - you are one amazing lady. I am so impressed with your composure and resolve. I need you to come to my MC with me and you can coach me!

Sleep well, you deserve it.

CBK

[cw68]

I'm so dark, minus the needed talking about and actually doing our D's 7th bday. I'm going to go to Tahoe this weekend.

Lovingly detach. I, of course, hope that things change, but I think I've finally seen the writing on the wall. He walked away a long time ago.

[Sara]

I really do wish he would give Retrouvaille a try. I know i've said it over and over, but it was the best weekend of my life. When I am frightened by something my mind tries to go to my little room at the monastery where I felt safe. And believe me, I am not a monastery kind of girl! For one thing, I'm Jewish. First thing I did was take the crucifix off the wall and put it in the drawer. So I never thought it would become a place that lingered in my mind. But it did.

[cw68]

I really wish he would, too. My heart needs him to do something that resembles trying to fix us. My head thinks that Retro could make a big difference. But, only he can want to do something. He has a few options, it's now up to him. I am not part of this anymore. I'm just a bystander. I've done what I could do.

[CBK]

I had mentioned Retro to WAW a while ago, right now, she doesn't talk to me! I do hope he takes you up on the offer. I have heard good things about Retro.

You are up late for somebody that is whiped out! My mind is in overdrive right now as well, sleep will come eventually to both of us.

I plan on taking another lesson tomorrow for golf, I figure if I can have patience for that, I should have patience for my R!

Sleep well CW

CBK