Help Me Act AS IF, Part 5

[newnamenewlife]

Today I called a mediator at H's request. She wanted to speak with both of us before meeting with us. It was a whole new kind of wake-up call, this time to the financial realities I'm being forced to face.

H wants a legal S agreement before he moves out. In our state, I could claim abandonment if he leaves the house without one, which has all kinds of implications in terms of property, etc.

The mediator estimated it would take 3-4 sessions to create an agreement, and she recommends we have a L look it over once it's done. She is $250/hour, so there's $1000 right off the bat.

Have I mentioned that D11 needs $6000 worth of orthodontia and we have lame dental insurance? That we have lots of other debt too??

So add the mediator and lawyer fees to the rent H will need to pay on an apt, plus furniture, utilities, etc, plus health insurance we will have to pay for in June when H's severance package runs out and we're talking SERIOUS DEBT.

It is one thing to DB for the emotional reasons, but how does one handle this aspect? I feel like I am being forced to deal with all this financial stress and uncertainty against my will and it is Pi**ing ME OFF!! We could have spent this money on MC, but H wants this instead?? This is a man who HATES spending money, I might add. Before all this went down, he talked constantly about how we need to reduce our monthly expenses and now look!!

We have talked about renting out our third floor as an apt (and the girls and I would live on the two floors), but that is going to take an investment to renovate and so far H has done nothing to get that ball rolling. (fyi, we live in a townhouse, so it's narrow; two floors is OK for me and Ds, but it's not palatial by any stretch.)

I am having a very hard time participating in my own financial ruin! I have worked