You have echoed what a dear friend here just called to tell me. She also said that I need to find acceptance, that I need to accept this happened and not dwell on the why's or how's. I asked her if acceptance meant that I would think it fine that all this happened to me, and she explained to me that one can accept yet not like it still. Acceptance therefore does not mean that I like what happened or that I even agree with the why's and how's, it just means that I can pick up my life and go on.
I know that this too shall pass; I have been at this long enough to know that...yet I do feel that these outbursts of sadness and sometimes even a little bit of anger and jealousy are also needed to release some suppresed feelings.
I sometimes really think that it was all me, the reason for our failed marriage and all, but deep in my heart, I guess I know that H had a choice when he fell in love with ow, he could have chosen ME and the kids instead of her.
It's nearly midnight here and I am off to bed, I will do a huge prayer and hopefully the tears won't come again for a while. I love you all for caring so much, and thank you for your encouraging words to me ! Take care xxxxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
