This is so painful to watch HFF. Things were going so well for you and then another bomb. I don't understand your wife's belief that socially unacceptable behavior should be equally accepted with socially acceptable behavior. It is not that she is an in-law that you think your sister would not be happy to see her with a date, but because she is the instigator of your separation and the disintegration of your marriage. But it is still what you think. You could be wrong. Other people will greet her as they choose to. I wouldn't speculate on what others will do or say. Life is not scripted by either you or her.
Perhaps unfortunately, I've told my sister quite of bit of the situation. My S at this point is fed up with situation and doesn't want to see me hurt anymore. I think that I have told her too much at this point, which unfortunately makes it difficult for her to accept W back we were work things out. Live an learn.
Quote:
Yes, she seems to cling to unrealistic fantasies. Why on earth would you be inseparable in your 80's when you are so easily separable now. Chances aren't good.
That's her point. It sounds like she wants the type of relationship where her heart would be empty if her love were to disappear. Because she and I are both getting along okay, this in itself seems to be justification for no staying together. She has told me over and over that it isn't the fairy tale love that she is looking for, but her actions don't match.
Quote:
Maybe she thinks you believe fantasies, and if she keeps feeding them to you, you won't even notice reality. She reminds of GH31's wife. You hold still and wait for me, I'll be back when I'm 79.
I heard something similar from her a while back. A year of separation is a blip in time compared to our overall relationship. If we are meant to be, we will find ourselves back together again.
Sorry, but I don't believe in putting all of my eggs in a basket of chance. I like to believe that I control my own destiny. Yes there is a bit of luck and chance involved, but why sit back and wait for something to happen? I've seen much better results when I take an active approach.
