It is hard. I want to pick up the phone just to talk to my H but know I can't. Although I have in the past, I am trying to give him some time to miss me. I worry, though, what if he decides he doesn't? It's strange. You know, basically I am happy. I have a decent job, have a little apartment that suits me for now. I miss him. I miss the smell of his skin, the way he would hug me, the way we talked. I can go back now and look and see alot was missing those last couple of months. I just thought he was dealing with the unhappiness in his job, and needed some space. I had no idea that he was thinking of leaving me. I wonder if I had known, what would I have done different? I know I am not supposed to look at the past, only the future. I know that I didn't pay enough attention, and he didn't tell me he was so miserable. I know I would change that if I could get another chance. God...I hope I get that chance...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
