When life just hits you

[Cinderellaman]

Thank you ACJ.

Well, MIL called to tell me about the introduction to ow last night. She said all went well, that they did express their concern for their grandchildren and that they still care very much about me. Then they went out to dinner and had a lovely evening.

I didn't expect anything else really.

I have often said here on the boards, that my H's ow is very sweet and seems to be a nice person, all over.

After all, my kids love her.

MIL, said that she was awfully young.

I remember reading somewhere in DR or DB that you have to try and find what your partner is missing and finding in his affair, so that you can offer it yourself and therefore attract the attention back.
Well, according to MIL, ow ADORES H....and yes, when I was 16 and very much in love with him, I too ADORED him.
I still do in a way, but I have felt that it was something I couldn't keep expressing to a man that is in-love with someone else. (It would encourage cake-eating behaviour, right ?)

So, right now I am sad, sad that I maybe should have loved him more, shown him more that I love him too ....even though he had/has an ow.
I feel now that maybe I have 'banned' him from my life, and I only have my own self to blame, for it was me that made the NC choice, and it was ME that felt that seeing him often would only mean more heartache and pain and would probably not bring him back. Who was I to have the right to assume that?

I feel that in my case, my H is TRULY happy elsewhere. It hurts to know that he is so in-love and that therefore there is NO CRACK in their R whatsoever...It hurts, because I have been replaced. And H is truly happy.

I wonder if the pain will ever truly stop.