There was a time when I felt it was partially my responsibility to help kids maintain their R with H. Don't feel like it is anymore. Should it be?
I think your only responsibility is to try to bring things to your H's attention. If you have done that and nothing changes, there is really nothing more you can do.
I wish I had something from my experience with my XH and my kids that could help you but each situation is so different. I can tell you that my XH never really had that great of a bond with my D when she was young but they seem to have an adequate (not great) relationship now...so there was improvement. Things will hopefully change and your H will mature and see how his sons need him. The only thing you can do is encourage your H to have the best relationship he can with your kids. Other than that, it is out of your hands.
Your H sounds like he is bouncing around all the stages of MLC...withdrawal...replay. I think we all come to the realization that there is no point in trying to figure out where our spouses are in all of this...it is like trying to chase your tail. Just keep moving forward, trying to be happy, making the most of your life...and remember that you need to have done everything you could to save your M so regardless of what happens, you know you have given it your all...and only you know when you are there...but I sense you aren't there yet.
