Treese and nlt, they are in a weird place, and who knows what they are really thinking and feeling. My eldest son told me that he thought I had actually kept his father going for years, and my youngest son [who apparently also 'doesnt understand relationships'] told me he thout his father was incapable of having a real relationship with anyone right now, and also that his father reminded him of a friend of his who had become a cocaine addict. He said the erratic behaviour, manipulation, outbursts of abuse, alternting with brief periods of normality was scarily similar. But according to our husbands these 'children' understand nothing.
The only thing I suggest is to try and not be bitter about any of it. Bitterness eats at the soul, and this is our chance to make the inward journey. If you survive this and have grown it will stand you in good stead all your life. No-one wants this to have happened, but it is a spiritual awakening for us and we should grab the chance with both hands, instead of thinking it is the worst thing that has happened to us. No-one wants hard lessons, myself included, but quite a long time time into this I recognise and value the changes that it has made in me.
