You guys are all so wonderful! YR, thank you for the encouragement. I hope whenever he can see what OW is really like he will start to realize what he walked away from & come back. I think they are going on a scuba diving trip & that bothers me. We always took wonderful vacations together, I just can't believe this is happening!!!!
I know what you mean about the pain, I do hope my H is feeling the pain also. I can't believe my H doesn't seem to miss anything, we had such a wonderful R & shared so many things & for him to just walk away, I don't understand. Although when he was here a month ago he did take some pictures of us together on the beach in swim suits. We had a family picture made, us & our 2 dogs, he took one of them & he took proofs of Glamour shots that I had made for him as a wedding gift. I'm not sure why he took those. I hope he hasn't let go yet but I really don't know. He does resent me now b/c I got the house & alimony. I hope he won't hold a grudge.
Treese and nlt, they are in a weird place, and who knows what they are really thinking and feeling. My eldest son told me that he thought I had actually kept his father going for years, and my youngest son [who apparently also 'doesnt understand relationships'] told me he thout his father was incapable of having a real relationship with anyone right now, and also that his father reminded him of a friend of his who had become a cocaine addict. He said the erratic behaviour, manipulation, outbursts of abuse, alternting with brief periods of normality was scarily similar. But according to our husbands these 'children' understand nothing.
The only thing I suggest is to try and not be bitter about any of it. Bitterness eats at the soul, and this is our chance to make the inward journey. If you survive this and have grown it will stand you in good stead all your life. No-one wants this to have happened, but it is a spiritual awakening for us and we should grab the chance with both hands, instead of thinking it is the worst thing that has happened to us. No-one wants hard lessons, myself included, but quite a long time time into this I recognise and value the changes that it has made in me.
Thank you for the advice! My step-son (21) told my H's SIL that he knew his dad was going through MLC & he also said he was crazy b/c he didn't know this OW except via email & phone calls.
I'm trying to pray for him & hope one day soon he will come to his senses.
Angelica is so right. Time is what is needed for them right now. He will start missing the things that you used to do together. He might even try to compare things with the OW and see there is no comparison. My H did that too, UGH! Once the thrill wears off he will see that he isn't happy there either and all of this is MLC, even though he might not admit it!!
YR & Angelica, Thank you so much!!! I really hope that will happen with my H! We had so much fun together, of course he told me he had been lonely for years during one of his talks about our R, he never let me talk he had to leave or go to bed. I assume that was his guilt talking. I don't believe he could have hid the loneliness he claims, he sure didn't show it if he was.
