Searching for the truth..for me 5

[Rusty]

I must say, beau, that I did think of ending my life. After giving over 28 years of my life to this man, thinking that I would have someone forever, the thoughts that went through my head - I am too old to find someone else, I am worthless, I am not good enough - was enough to put me over the edge. I really did come close, but somehow, my oldest son called and put me in a better place. I couldn't do that to him or any of my other kids. And at that point, I really did have an awakening! NO ONE is worth that! And putting yourself first is the first step to moving on, which I really believe is one of the steps of DBing! If you really think of yourself and how you would want to be treated, it becomes easier to do. The anger at what the H has done is overwhelming, but I have decided to make myself the best ME I can be, with or without him.