Searching for the truth..for me 5

[Just Beau]

Wow,you sound like such a wonderful person.

I feel that you could really benefit from some serious GAL.Not that you aren't.If you are,do more.Don't have to date someone else...just get out there,and don't be available to him.

Do all these things for yourself,but know that it may just drive him batty.

As they say on here "Make yourself the forbidden fruit"

Bless you and good luck.

[phbear316]

Just beau

Thank you that was sweet to say about me. really sweet.

I am trying to GAL, working hard at it.
I am doing for me now. I will be going out there and will not be available to him. Even if i do date some one. The choice is mine and only mine.

Welcome to DB, you will find so much love an support with your issue here I can promise you that.

god bless and good luck to you also

bear

[sgctxok]

Just beau:

She is a really wonderful person

sg

[sgctxok]

bear,

if he was involved with your best friend, i'm gonna smack him myself....but now I kinda get why you haven't reached out much to other friends.

YOU deserve way better.

Have you seen any of Tyler Perry's movies? Get Madea's family reunion, some wine, and start making the grits. The movie will show you what to do with them.

[phbear316]

SG

I don't have solid proof, just feelings that burning gut feeling, when you start to look back over things and realize one plus one is not equaling two. Something is off, I know it, I cannot put my finger on it. But believe me if it happened it did. I am 98% sure it did. More than one person who knew my best friend, asked me if he was or had an affair with her. So others were seeing what i am just beginning to see now.

I am glad you now see why its hard for me to have friends, girl friends for now. Glad you can see my side of it.

Its funny, they would do lots of things together, so would her an i don't get me wrong, but I always felt i could never be alone with other men, or do other things with the guys-men from work like go out for a drink cause I always felt it would look wrong to h and others if i was hanging out with men. Would give the wrong idea. So i would not go unless h was there, if h would not go neither would I. Not anymore

Well guess what, not anymore. The butterfly is ready to fly.

Yes i do deserve better, and better will come my way. Soon i hope.

I will look into that movie, if there is a rainy night this summer i will try and rent it. Thanks for you sweet comment about me to just beau.

hugs
bear

[phbear316]

SG

Oh start warming up, I am pretty sure your in the batters box next up to hit my H.

bear

[JennyF]

Bear....I was in tears reading your post. Your response to SG.
I feel so warm and fuzzy inside right now because I finally hear you speaking about yourself like this. I know what your H has done to you, I feel it as deeply as you do.
I know what it means in your soul to love someone that much. But the truth is you need to now put that love and energy into yourself. For the first time I see you ready to do that and I am so proud of you. I hope that does not sound condescending...it is certainly not intended that way. You should be proud of yourself.

Better is already coming your way simply by virtue of your choice to focus on yourself.
And you know what? For now, that something better doesn't have to be 'someone' better. Enjoy this time getting to know yourself again. This has been the most the amazing part of my journey.
This won't break us Bear....we won't let it.

I love ya so much!!!
J~

[sgctxok]

Well guess what, not anymore. The butterfly is ready to fly.

Yes i do deserve better, and better will come my way. Soon i hope.

I will look into that movie, if there is a rainy night this summer i will try and rent it. Thanks for you sweet comment about me to just beau.

hugs
bear

YEAH!!!!! That's my bear!

[phbear316]

Gosh everyone, I have to make sure i have tissues handy every time i get on this site today. The tears are flowing like wine and water here at my house.

Jenny, My pop up time is done in regards to h, I am tired of fighting for something that is not there right now. I am tired of banging my head against the wall.

The road has been long, and i know there is still a long way to travel, but My bags are almost packed and i am ready to take the journey.

I have a friend whom i will get the name of his attorney he used for his divorce this week, I am going to make an appointment to get information and protect me. I plan to go when h is in florida in two weeks.

Get this, h was all looking at me kinda weird tonight when i was texting a friend, the look was almost like who are you texting and why and what about.
Sorry you will never know H, I am being mysterious and it seems it is eating him up. Oh well.

Jenny, thank you, I have had good role models, you, sg, jeanette and others. Your strength i have found. I am in total awe with you. You are amazing. I wish i could be 1/3 amazing as you.

You are right nothing will break us. My friends here are friends for life. Love you to Jenny.

I know tomorrow will be difficult, but i am actually looking forward to it. Leasing a car in my own name. Scary, yes thrilling, you bet. I don't know how much i will sleep. Am i scared, yes. But this is just the beginning steps for me. For little does h know, i am taking my whole check and putting it into my account, then giving him a check for household items that need to be paid.

The steps are coming, the path is in front and i am taking the first steps tomorrow towards me. My new life

hugs
bear

[Rusty]

bear - I really feel for you. But I totally understand feeling like you need to set some limits as to how long you are willing to accept this situation! I have been told by many that, focus on yourself and making yourself a better person and move forward towards what you want on your own and life will follow. My biggest help was prayer although it was hard to think God would allow for this to happen. But I do believe without my stich I would never have grown to be the person I am becoming everyday. I would have stayed controlling and focused on me, instead of understanding how a partnership was supposed to be and loving someone for who they are, not who I think they should be. Anyway- I think there should be some forum on focusing more on yourself and becoming the best person you can be no matter what!
I love this - a place to really get to know and be around folks going through similar life experiences!