I agree with Karen...I don't know that Dbing has had any affect on my H's affair. I think the motivations behind the affair are more of an indicator of whether or not we, as betrayed spouses, can have much of an influence over a continuing affair. For instance, if an affair is a cry for help, a resounding cry of "I've put up with _______ from you for long enough; I'm tired of you not doing _______ for me; etc.", then I think DBing can have a noticable affect on an affair.
So thinking about why the affair began in the first place is a good thing to do. And realize that affairs can become so emotionally intense so quickly that even people who had no intention of ending their marriages over them may do just that.
For me personally, I try to ignore the stats out there about divorce/affairs/etc. I don't try to put my H's affair in a neat category and analyze it, because I'd just find myself continually disappointed. I'm fighting for my marriage because I think it's a worthy fight, and it's one that, for the rest of my life, I'd regret not having fought. But it's heartbreaking and it's exhausting and it's humbling beyond words and it's teaching me more about God and life and me than the last 25 years have. Statistics pale in comparison with what we live with everyday, don't they?
