To Hope or Not to Hope?

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

L--

I read through your thread and felt like I was reading part of my own situation. I am a Navy wife and my H had an affair while on recruiter duty. We have been married 13 years and our kids are almost the same ages as yours--youngest is 2, though, here.

I am having a hard time detaching. Prior to finding out about the affair, I NEVER suspected problems in our marriage. My oldest knows the circumstances and is acting out badly, My 8 y/o is withdrawing into herself--no longer the happy, outgoing child she has always been. The little ones are just devastated that they no longer see their dad everyday.

While I am not capable of giving in depth advice, I can say that it seems like you are on the right path, you just have to wait for God to step in and put His hand of mercy and guidance in your life.


I am in the same boat. If I could completely let go, it would take away all of my pain and despair. The only problem is, I can look around my house an every reminder of him is another knife in my heart for the loss of the love that we shared. The kids are a constant reminder of what an amazing Dad he is, one who has always been there for everything and anything.

My cousin gave me a piece of advice about that situation that is a bitter pill to swallow, but one really tied to DB techniques. We cannot make our children's father be a better dad. He has to decide on his own to do what is needed for his children. As someone else said, it is time to put on his big boy pants and step up to the plate. Unfortunately, the decision is his to make in his own time and the hardest hing I have been learning to accept is that I cannot make him do what I think is the right thing--he has to figure it out for himself.

SMW