You have that right -- under the current version of our parenting schedule, I get the kids 5 days every two weeks to W's 9 days. That's why I wrote W the following letter last night (early AM):
Quote:
W,
It is time I told you what's been on my mind. The mediation is just not working. I knew before I walked out of the previous session, but I have slept on this and thought about it ever since.
I do not have faith that the mediator you've hired is practicing true impartiality, or is looking out for my interests to the same obvious degree she is looking out for yours. And I have tried to be as open and accommodating as possible, but one can only bend so much.
As such, I am calling it off. I'm not interested in what is this same old song and dance you've been doing since last June. Which is to grant you full control over the entire situation. You refuse to hear me or my terms.
I will remind you that I told you even before going into the first session that anything less than 50-50 custody would be a deal-breaker for me.
I figure we have three options (there may be more.)
(1) We start all over on the voluntary mediation. Even hire a new mediator. I won't accept any mediator who dismisses out-of-hand my terms for at least 50-percent custody without so much as hearing me out, or providing adequate legal, logical and moral justifications. <mediator> has been given more than sufficient time but has failed to show she is so unbiased.
(2) Each of us hires our own attorney under a Collaborative Law agreement. There's no judge or jury, just four people around a table to hammer this separation agreement out. Your lawyer is there to represent your interests; my lawyer is there to represent mine. Obviously more costly than voluntary mediation since it involves two lawyers, instead on one. But is far, far cheaper than a court battle, and takes far less time.
(3) We go to court. We each blow tens of thousands of dollars, spend countless hours in litigation, and destroy whatever peace might have been possible between us, not to mention the financial futures of each of us and of S7 and S3.
I am ready for whatever, come what may.
...
On another note, it is now May 18th -- Happy Anniversary, of sorts. I am so sorry it has come to this. It didn't have to be this way.
The "anniversary" I refer to is that of our first date (which is also the anniversary of the day I asked her to marry me).
When W called this evening, I mentioned to her that I had sent her an email (with this text). She said she had not had a chance to read her email yet. I didn't say it, but I could have told W that I knew already that she hadn't had a chance to read my email, because I had been by the house earlier today and noted the telltale evidence that she had never come home at all last night, again.
I wished her "Happy Anniversary" and started to say goodbye, but she paused and said something to the effect that I never said anything last year about the anniversary of our first date. I started to raise a counter-argument, but she was obviously winding up for a pitched verbal battle. So, while the volume of her voice began to rise, I merely hung up before she could go any further.
W called back a minute later, saying that that was rude and then we each said good-bye.
I mentioned the "anniversary" for no other reason than if I had not she would have counted that as a negative as well. At least by saying something in acknowledgment of this date my conscious is truly clear.
