Hey Jeff, I think you are doing great. I think you are starting to realize that this marriage as it is, is not what you want. You have begun taking care of you and that is very important and it seems to me that you havent done that in a long time.
We all know that small, consistent changes are what is needed and are what eventually get noticed. I think that if you get yourself mentally and physically healthy it will be better for everyone in the long run.
I think you have started some really great 180's for yourself. All your fans on this thread are anxious for you to start the first day of the rest of your life. I think we all want so much for you that we are anxious for you to get started.
Your wife obviously has some huge issues. My h is a control freak and it is very difficult to try to live up to their standards. I really think it is impossible to do so. I know that my h feels very out of control when it comes to his feelings - expressing them and living with them.
I think we can assume your wife is not happy. I really have to believe that she cannot be happy living as she is. So, what to do about it. Well, you cant make someone happy, they have to find it themselves. Perhaps you could take away some of the things that stress her out, thereby making her world more tolerable. And I really think that happy begets happy. It often has a ripple effect.
I have to say, I do feel that you walk on eggshells around the situation. I can understand why. It is scary to think that if you do something, your family unit might end. But there comes a point where you do not want to spend years waiting, hoping for change. There comes a time when you have to act and change the status quo. When your w sees that you are moving forward with your life, she might start to think about what it is she really wants.
So my friend, continue to GAL, get healthy, and soul search. And when you are ready, start your life. Go for it. Life is short and you deserve to have happiness and lightness.
