I'm still sailing!!!!

[Briget]

Hi all,

Hows it going? Me I'm fine.Kinda got the blues.But that will pass.I guess once and a while I let all this get to me.Most of the time I'm all good.I'm tired of being lonely.It wears you out.I know I have a lot to be thankful for.Most days I am.But today I just don't feel like it.

I worked today while my family went to the lake and had a blast.I'm a bit angry that the ex has put my in this sitch.I have to work instead of spending the weekends with my family.Ok I don't always have to do that.But damn it I had to today.Work wasn't to bad.We had enough workers and no drama.I guess I should be grateful.I just don't feel like it.Damn it.

I have been alone for five years now.I miss having someone in my life. I miss knowing that someone has my back.That someone loves me.I miss just having someone who knows me.I mean really knows me.Not the person I put out there.

I keep telling myself that it is not an emergency.That I have time.But do I really? I'm not getting any younger.And most of the men my age seem to want the younger ones.Whats up with that?Am I damaged goods.

I have been told I act like one of the guys.How do I break that.Or is there someone out there that likes a woman who can hang with the big boys.Do I have to start letting them win at pool and darts? Do I want someone who wants a woman who will do that?

Don't get me wrong I do not act like a man. I don't dress like a man.I'm a girly girl.But for some reason I come off as one of the guys.

I don't know how to flirt.How weird is that? I just don't get the whole flipping my hair and giggling thing.

I'm indepentant.Have I made myself so indepentant that I'm intimidating?I have been told by a few of my male friends that men are scared to come up and talk to me.How is that.I'm flippin 4 foot 11.Just how scary am I?

So any ideas how to stop being one of the guys.I hear this enough from my female friends to know there has to be a grain of truth to it.

How frustrating.

Later Friends
Briget