I think my W is also over-reacting a bit b/c there is nothing I've found or that you've all said that makes any sense as to her having to cut off her hair. They live and put eggs at the roots, so what good would shortening her length do anyway? I hope they aren't so stubborn as to not continue to look for answers and solutions.
In any event, I have information ready for W if she asks for it, but otherwise I'm working very, very hard at simply hearing her and listening w/out offering help, advice, or solutions. I'd love to try and convince her not to cut her hair and to talk w/ a doctor, or even go to the ER, first, but if I do, then I'll be "controlling" and I simply can't do that anymore. I never thought I was trying to control her, as I always was trying to be helpful. However, she's viewed it as controlling, so I'm no longer able to give out unsolicited advice. So, now, I wait...
I did send her a text this morning to see how she and D were doing b/c I think that is what a friend would do in this case. She replied back that her head hurt and I simply said "I'm very saddened to hear that. Do your best today and rest tonight. Congratulate (her neice) for me." She gave a simple reply, but I think I did the right thing by focusing on how to show her I was listening and that I understood how she was feeling. That is my challenge w/ W -- listen and affirm. NO statements about what "I think" but only that "I understand" or "I can see." It is difficult, but I think I'm finding ways to get better and better at it.
