The Emotional Rollercoaster

[LolaL]

I was wondering if anyone else has ever experienced this situation. What am I talking about, I am sure someone has, but its really starting to make me mad and I need some advice on how to handle it without losing my cool.

I have one friend who is totally unsupportive of my wish to reconcile with H. This woman is supposed to be my best friend. We have known each other for eight years. She has been married for 24, raised two great kids. But I digress...

No matter what I seem to do, its wrong. When H and I first split, she blamed me for everything, saying that I didn't pay enough attention, that I was too wrapped up in my daughter. I have been working really hard at not trying to "be the saver" and worry about my own problems.

At any rate, D12 and I went for our first counseling session on Friday, and my main concern was how she was handling all of this. The counselor told me that she is doing very well, and is actually more concerned for me than anything. The counselor also said the biggest issue is that I try to save the world instead of feeling validated that I am hurting. So I called my "friend" to tell her this. I told her D12 was okay, and she said well I am not so sure about that (btw D12 is ADHD, but does well other than being a little immature and a little overactive). The counselor suggested that for D12 we keep her very structured, and I told my friend this. Her response was that in order to structure D12, I needed to make decisions about my life and stop calling H for support, letting him call me for support, and that he was just too nice a guy to tell me to get lost. She also said he was just using me, because the only time he ever called was if he needed something. This, of course ,s not true, but regardless...talk about blindsiding someone. By the end of the conversation, I was in tears. So I called H, and told him. That is not something I would have done before this, but we have gotten to a point in our conversations where I felt comfortable doing that. Needless to say, H reassured me that if he did not want to talk to me, he would not be talking to me at all.

I am a relatively laid back person and don't do confrontation often. But the more I think about what this "friend" said, the angrier I get. I have seen real progress between me and H, especially to the point where he says its possible for a future relationship, which is progress from I don't love you. I don't like what she said. However, because I usually am so laid back, when I get angry, its all or nothing. So I have not spoken to her because I worry I am just going to blow.

Can I get some suggestions on how to handle this without losing my dignity???