I have read CBK's last thread and this one. What I see is someone who is thinking deeply about his problem and trying to find solutions. But he will need to choose his own solutions. He is consulting people here, he is seeing a MC, an IC, talking to friends and talking to a priest. So he is getting plenty of advice. And he is choosing what to do.
Sara (and CBK),
I think what a lot of us (not just me) who have been communicating regularly with CBK are seeing in him is he seeks advice, considers it, very often even vocalizes what he KNOWS he should (or shouldn't) do . . . and then he does it anyway. It's not so much he has disagreed with the advice, rather it's a sense of:
"Should I touch the hot stove?"
"No!!!!"
"I know I shouldn't, but maybe it would help me determine the real temperature of the burners."
"No, don't do it -- it will make it worse!"
"OK, I hear you, and I know I shouldn't, but maybe if I just do it once, I will know what I'm dealing with and the stove will know that I'm serious about knowing what its temperature is."
"Please, CBK, you'll only burn your hand!"
"I know you're all saying I shouldn't touch the stove, and I hear you. But last nite, I backslid and I touched the stove again, and this is why . . . "
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
It's not that we don't respect CBK's instincts, and we DAMNED sure respect his EFFORT. He's working his azz off. It's that he's not following his instincts, even when he knows (and vocalizes) that he should.
