I think I've had a similar conversation with my H. He is making progress in ways, so what you are doing is working. Most important, though, is that what you are doing is working for you. The more it works for you, the more it works for your D and your R.
Keep fighting for what you believe in. You can't ever go wrong if that's what you do, regardless of where you find yourself down the line.
(((jen)))
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09