That is great that he responded! I'm sure that made your day. At least your H is responding to you.
My H pretty much quit responding after he cussed me out. He did a little but not much. On his B'day a month later, I just sent him an email & said "Happy Birthday", he sent one back & said "Thank You". That was it. We were cordial when he was moving his stuff out of the house but he had his guard up. I haven't heard from his since he left here April 12th, except the alimony check.
I'm so happy that you are getting some response. I'll keep praying for you also. Thank you for your prayers, I know God does answer them.
PH You are always so Positive! definitely practicing the laws of attraction sonetimes I feel it so strong H will return but its grounded in nothing but a feeling Im also enjoying peace lately Glad your H responded and wants to help peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Hi nlt, Yes, his response made my day. I replied, and he answered my questions later yesterday. I had more questions which I emailed at the end of the business day. He would have read it this morning and has not responded to that yet. Hard to know what that means...
It is a fine balance between being loving/caring and coming across to our H as pursuing. I am conscious of keeping that balance healthy. So it becomes tricky to decide when to contact him and when not to. Sometimes I think he would welcome me calling him with my questions, but then I don't know. I wish I can read his mind! I tend to wait for him to call me instead of me calling him, especially when he used to not answer the phone or stop the ringing.
As for your H, keep working on showing him your changes so he can see what he's missing out. Thank him whenever there is an opportunity to do so. He'll definitely appreciate the thanks, even if he doesn't show it.
Thanks for your prayers. God does answer prayers if we have faith in Him, and believe in Him.
sonetimes I feel it so strong H will return but its grounded in nothing but a feeling
Take advantage of this feeling and let it make you feel really joyful. If you feel joy or feel good, it means that you are thinking good thoughts. Thinking good thoughts will attract the good things you're wanting in your life. -PH
I wish I could show my H the changes I've made, but he is in another state & I am not seeing anyone that would talk to him & let him know. His son from 1st M has called a couple of times about getting some things he left here but that is all.
I'm doing my best to have faith. There are times when I just feel like he is coming home again but right now there is no sign what so ever. I've haven't heard from him in over a month now.
I'm so excited for you!!!! I think things are moving in the right direction for you. I think you are doing great by not calling him. Let him call you. I'm like you, I wish we could read their minds, sometimes anyway.
I wish I could show my H the changes I've made, but he is in another state & I am not seeing anyone that would talk to him & let him know.
Maybe... each time you get your alimony check or every so often, you could thank him for doing that (card, email, text or voicemail). Or if/when you have to forward him his mail, write a very short note on the envelope - thanks for... or something else nice. Just a thought....
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I'm doing my best to have faith. There are times when I just feel like he is coming home again but right now there is no sign what so ever.
Yes, I know what you mean about doing your best to have faith. I am the same. Exercising faith can be challenging. It is also rewarding, for us, even if things don't turn out the way we imagined it to. In the end, it's better for us either way. Keep up the praying, no matter how impossible it may look. We don't know what's happening behind the scenes. Pray for God to constantly put a hedge of thorns around your H to turn OW away.
It is hard with no kids, we both wanted them but I couldn't have kids. H always said it didn't matter to him that I was all he needed. He sure isn't showing that now!!!
Hang in there, keep the faith. Let me know what is happening with your sitch.
nlt, Whatever note you write, ask yourself "How would he react to this note?" E.g. will mentioning the alimony check trigger resentment or will it make him feel appreciated?
No I haven't heard back from my H. I went to watch "The Other Boleyn Girl". It was sad. On the way home, I was thinking about my H and wondering why he is acting the way he is and why he's so stubborn about not coming home. I asked God to show me what He wants me to do about it, and to help me cope.
Sometimes I wonder if my H is totally done with me. But then I remind myself of the "signs" that seems to point to me that God plans to restore my M.
Next weekend is special. Every year we used to go away with his family to this place. Of course we din't go last year. He did come over to visit last year because he was reminiscing the previous years. Not sure what he's going to do this year.
I have been hoping he'd take me to see "Ironman". I heard great reviews about it. My stepsons already saw it.
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It is hard with no kids, we both wanted them but I couldn't have kids. H always said it didn't matter to him that I was all he needed. He sure isn't showing that now!!!
Do you think he left because he wants kids and thinks his time is running out? In my case, my H didn't want kids, even though he knew I wanted kids from the beginning. He already has 2 kids so it hurt that he wasn't thinking of my needs.
Anyway, tonight I was reading "The Five Languages of Apology". Great book. He even stresses it's important to apologize to ourselves and forgive ourselves. He said that it's a mistake to never think again about our failure. Instead, we need to learn from our failure.
I hope you are able to get the help you need for your dog. I know how hard it is to lose a dog. I lost a 2.5 year old about 15 months ago. He was a very good boy and it happened very suddenly. It happened within less than 24 hours.
Thank you for your advice. I've been thinking about what I would say in a note to him. The more I think about it the more I think I shouldn't b/c he does resent sending me the alimony checks. I have to send him our tax refund & I think the best thing I can do with that is not say anything. I will send it certified so he will have to sign for it b/c I don't trust OW & afraid she will get it before he does.
No, I don't think this happened b/c we didn't have kids, he has always said he like it with just us. He has son from 1st marriage & I believe he was jealous of him when he was a baby. He won't admit that but he got jealous of our dogs when I would pay more attention to them & not him. The OW is older than him, 1 1/2 years so I doubt she will want any kids. She has a couple of grown ones now.
That would be so great if your H would come over this weekend like he did last year. I do believe God is not ready for your M to be over, signs just seem to be pointing that way. I'm so afraid it might be for mine since we are already divorced. But it just happened to fast so I just don't know. You just stay strong & let him do the asking & making the plans. Your are doing great!!! Don't always be available, let him wonder what you are doing for yourself.
I'm so sorry about you loosing your dog, 2.5 years is not old at all!!! My oldest is almost 14, I know she is old but I've just got to keep her around for now. She is eating better so that is good news.
I have to send him our tax refund & I think the best thing I can do with that is not say anything. I will send it certified so he will have to sign for it b/c I don't trust OW & afraid she will get it before he does.
When you send him the tax refund, maybe you could say something like "Hope you are doing well". I am sure you can think of something nice and caring but not pressuring.
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I do believe God is not ready for your M to be over, signs just seem to be pointing that way.
Thanks. I believe that God wants our M restored.
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I'm so afraid it might be for mine since we are already divorced. But it just happened to fast so I just don't know.
Maybe the fast D works to your advantage. Since it happened too fast for him to realize or regret, the reality might have a greater chance to sink in now, especially if OW is pressuring him to get married or pressuring him to get over you. I bet she's jealous of you. Pray for God to build a hedge of thorns around your H so that OW runs away from him.
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Don't always be available, let him wonder what you are doing for yourself.
My H says he blocks me out alot. I wonder if he really meant that. At face value, it seems to me he does. He does tend to mean what he says. Unless he does think alot about me but mistaken about how he thinks about me....
Today, I had to try very hard to force myself to concentrate on work. For some reason, I feel tired - I think this S is taking its toll on me. Last night, I wrote him the letter (in a card). I mailed it this evening.
Glad your dog is eating better... Try to keep busy. I know it's hard.
I tend to wait for him to call me instead of me calling him, especially when he used to not answer the phone or stop the ringing.