OM obviously doesn't want you so you need to drop that addiction. Also, my guess is that most of what he told you was a lie. If he wasn't happy with the current marriage he would have left. Men who are unhappy and "have a place to go" (OW) leave. He isn't doing it. OM is a fantasy. What you are thinking about him, and what he is, are two VERY different things.
Anyhow.... my suggestion to you, is rather than try to force feelings that aren't there with your H, I think you should tell him you'd like to take things slow and start as friends. I think you need to give each other space, time to heal and work towards developing a friendship.
Be patient.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
