OMG, CBK.....you are still doing it! You are still clinging to her even though she is out of the house....you can't detach from the thoughts of her. You are going back over everything in your head, all over again....for what? What good does that do? So...you didn't take our advice and you butted with your own head, well, so much for that...right? Will you listen to us now when we tell you to stop this blame game and guilt trips and feeling sorry for yourself? Will you pick yourself up out of the dirt and brush yourself off and get on with your life or will you continue to do as you've done since the bomb hit?
Sure you felt some peace at first when she moved out.....every couple does when they have been under so much stress. It's called "temporay relief". It is like a balloon that finally bursts after trying to hold too much air. However, knowing you, and from what you have already said, this feeling of "peace" will be short lived according to what you have already posted.
Quote:
Coming back from the gym, I was dying to drive by to make sure she was okay and say we need to set up some boundaries if we are just going to get along, but I remembered what you all said - give her the space, don't contact, let her figure out what needs figuring out.
The boundaries and space and all of that was when she was under the same roof as you! Now she isn't, so it's a whole new ballgame.
If you do go by her mother's house to talk R....so help me I am going to reach through this darn computer and strangle you! Can't you get it through your thick skull that she left b/c you could not detach? Now that she is at her Mother's (not the OM's, btw) you are still wanting to go by and talk it out???
Oh yeah, you repeat the words we've all said to you, but you won't do it, CBK! You need to move off to an island where no contact is possible until you get you head on straight! Then you probably would drown trying to swim back to her to have one last R talk!
Yes, I'm angry at you b/c you need to man-up! Why would she want to go back to you? You are just making her OM look that much better every day. He's even beginning to look better to me and I haven't a clue about him only that right now he is more attractive than you are. So, what are you going to do about it? Keep feeling sorry for yourself, keep trying to spy on her (no matter what you may call it....driving by, my a$$), and keep pushing until you loose the respect of your kids too? Is that what you want?
I don't know any more to tell you b/c I have tried to tell you what a WAW feels like. She wants her freedom as much as she needs to breathe and do you give it to her? No, you smother her until she has to move out of the house to get air. I told you to back off and give her space. You thought you were, but you weren't. Going two or three days without a R talk is not backing off. That is not self-discipline....it's just saving up spit.
So, you just keep it up friend and the next thing--you will be served with divorce papers. Then what will you do? Start making goals on the calendar as to when you hope to have her back again? Let her go, CBK. Give her freedom. I mean, shut it down now! I am typing this keyboard so hard trying to make you hear me b/c this is your last chance to get her back before she goes off with OM forever. You had better "get it" this time or you can burry yourself in "drinks" every night from now on, but you won't have your wife. You will just turn into a drunk. It is time to stop talking the talk and start walking the walk.....like a man!
Finally...a voice of reason..CBK-Sandi has been trying to tell you..I have broken enough 2x4's over your head to kill a normal man..you're gonna keep on brother and she will be gone..D paers and she will be with that other dude..keep doing what you're doing..
SHE WILL CONTINUE TO SEE MORE OF THE SAME, UNTIL YOU TRULY CHANGE.
You have an opportunity to think about yourself, change yourself for the better...and you're thinking of going to her mom's to see her??? you were both angry last night, think you might get angry again if you talk to her and she spits her venom...hell you could end up in jail if you both get angry...
I bet she's so pissed at you right now she might just do anything..
